OKCupid told this guy I would be a good match for him. Really?
Bonus nope: he’s into Nascar. Not only do I not get the attraction of loud cars driving in circles—and yes, I live in Indianapolis—but I have bad memories of being hit on by a very persistent dwarf in full Nascar regalia while eating at a Ryan’s Steakhouse. (Shut up, they have really good lima beans!)
I’m not blocking out his tiny, shadowy head, since I’m fairly certain you can’t ID him from that. Unless you’re the NSA, in which case you already know who he is anyway.