my random gathering of shiny objects

Posts tagged truth

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I’m so tired of being alone but at this point I’m fairly convinced it’s a permanent condition.

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Offline, my brain seems to divide people into two groups. The first group I’m totally comfortable with and can talk to forever. Friends, family, and total strangers who I’ll likely never see again fall in this group: people who already know me and like me, and people whose opinion I’m not worried about.

The second group is far more difficult. People who I don’t know or don’t know well but would like to, people who I find interesting, people who I hope will like me. This group makes me nervous. Hell, it terrifies me sometimes. I clam up. I hang back. I worry that I’m imposing, interrupting. I become Bridget Jones getting so flustered all she can say to Salman Rushdie is “where’s the toilet?” In person, y’all fall into this group. CHSH? Totally.

(This makes dating a bit interesting, as first dates fall into the former category and second dates into the latter.)

I realize chances are good that y’all get this, but it still seemed necessary to say it. If we meet/have met and I was quiet—it wasn’t you, it’s me.

I’m so glad I went this weekend. I loved meeting all of you, and I look forward to seeing you again. Maybe by next time I won’t be so nervous. If you’re not easily offended, ask me to tell you the joke about the Seven Dwarves and the Pope.

Save me a spot on that couch.

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